Goodbye to Maverick

I think yesterday was one of the hardest days I have experienced in my life.  I remember lots of hard days and nights, like the one when Mady was a baby and she came down with RSV and I kneeled by her crib counting every breath throughout the night to make sure she didn't stop breathing, or the night a few weeks after I had Cody when Doug was gone moving houses and everyone had the croup, including me, and I sat on the floor in front of the couch, a child in each arm and one at my feet taking every once of strength I had to get us through the night, I have never been so exhausted.  There are a few others, and I think Monday, September 24, 2012 can rank right up there with days like those.  Somehow it seems silly to admit that I my cat died on that day,  after such a dramatic introduction, but it wasn't just that he died, but the way he died and his life story that has made it so hard. 

Let me start at the beginning.  Maverick is our cat that came to us through the Hurricane City Animal Shelter.  We had gone through several kittens and grown cats that kept getting poisoned by our neighbor and dieing. we had made arrangements with a lady that rescues and fixes cats to have one of the kittens fixed when it also died because of poisoning. I had decided not to get any more cats because of this and was surprised when I came home from work one day and Doug decided to adopt an old black Tom cat called Maverick from this lady.  She had rescued him from a very abusive situation where his owner beat him.  He had two broken teeth and was severely overweight, as well as severely skiddish.  She had tried to take him in herself but couldn't get him to come out of her basement or get along with her other cat, so wondered if we would be interested in taking him.  He was already fixed and she felt like he would be a good cat for us and would stay close to home (I guess when the animals are fixed they roam less).  Doug adopted him and put him in the garage.  He was so scared of us and his surroundings at first.  We couldn't get him to come out of the box he was in and often had to search the garage to find him because he would tuck himself in corners.  It took about a month and he started to warm up to us, but I wouldn't let him in the house so he stayed on the back porch or in the garage but would let us pet him.  Because of his broken teeth he drooled alot and he loved to have his head petted and rubbed.  I think his teeth were uncomfortable to him, although that went away as we were able to get him healthier.

Two years ago he got really sick and I rushed him to Dr. Barton's office in St. George.  (It was a Saturday and he is our neighbor).  They told me I would have to put him down because he had a bladder stone blocking his urethra and he was very sick.  I asked if he could attempt to clear it and they put a catheter in and cleared the stone, but told us he wouldn't be able to go to the bathroom on his own because of the swelling.  We brought him home anyway and decided that if he didn't get better that Doug would put him down.  I used my essential oils and some energy work on him and he was able to get better and be a normal cat again, although he had to be on a special food to keep him from forming bladder stones.  We decided to bring him into the house to live because of all of his illnesses, and because I could watch him better.  Throughout the next year he would have similar symptoms and I would apply my oils and do energy work on him and he would get better again.  In November of 2011 he got in a fight with another cat and came home with an abscess on his foot, which took a trip to Dr. Whitwers office to heal, then last Christmas Day he had another large stone block him again and he was very sick.  Dr. Whitwer was able to clear it and six other stones from his bladder and he was good again.  It never occurred to me to put him down. 

All during this time I had been fighting to pass kidney stones.  They are very painful and sometimes I would kneel  in front of the couch and sway back an forth to get through the pain.  Inevitably Maverick would climb up on my back and lay on the side that was hurting.  I let him because it helped relieved the pain.  It was as if he knew what was happening in my body and he wanted to help me heal.  He was a great comfort to me as I went through the ordeal.  I know he knew what it felt like to have a stone anyway.  I was grateful for his companionship in the middle of the night and the love I felt from him.  He became a source of strength to me.

Last Sunday night he went outside and I saw him in our big cottonwood tree chasing birds.  He was really far up and I worried that he would have trouble getting down, but knew cats always landed on their feet.  I just happened to be up around 11pm when I heard him meowing outside.  I called to him but he never came in.  As I was settling down in bed I heard him meow again so I ventured outside to find him.  He was sitting at the base of the stairs to the deck, sitting up and watching the yard.  I called to him again but he only looked at me so I walked over and picked him up.  I noticed one of his back legs didn't hold him so I brought him into the house and put him on the ground and he flopped over onto his side.  His left back leg and his tail wouldn't move and he used his front paws to pull himself to the door of my room.  My heart broke into a thousand pieces when I realized that his legs were paralyzed.  I searched him to see if he had been ran over and found a small wound with blood around it on his back, and one on his tail.  His eyes were dull from the pain.  I tried to make him comfortable on the floor near my bed so I could watch him and dozed  through the night, waking up to check on him every so often.  During the night he army crawled his way into the hall where he spent the rest of the night.  It broke my heart to see him unable to move his legs!!!  And I knew this was the beginning of the end for our special cat. 

The next day I was scheduled to work so I called Dr. Whitwers office as soon as he opened and took Maverick there while I went to work. I was at work all day and didn't hear from them.  Cody got home from school and called the vets office to see how Maverick was doing, then called his dad to see what he should do and they decided to put Maverick down.  Cody called me at work to tell me that he had taken care of everything and that he had them put him down, and that I was supposed to pick up his body after work.  I fell apart and had to leave my patient until I could calm down.  My poor kitty was gone already?  I had a hard time finishing the rest of my patients because I couldn't see through my tears.  I was able to get off work a few minutes early and made it to the vets office to find out that they couldn't put him down without my signature so he was still alive. I'm not sure if that was better or not.  I was able to spend some time saying goodbye to him.  He looked good, except he couldn't get up.   When I opened the cage he tried to come to me, and even drank some water which he hadn't done all day.  He purred as I petted his head and nudged my hand to pet some more when I stopped.  He was on a pain med so I knew he was feeling better.   They had taken x-rays of him and discovered he had been shot six times over the years.  (six pellets were in his body)  That was four more that what we saw last Christmas  when we were treating his bladder.  There was a pellet in his chest, one is his back leg, two in his side, one in his tail that was a fresh wound and had embedded in the joints of the tail, rendering it broken (they would have to amputate part of his tail if he lived) and the one in his spine that paralyzed his left leg.  The inflammation from that one probably paralyzed the right leg.  I was sick!!!  One of my neighbors had shot my cat six times!! 
Dr. Whitwer gave me some options, I could do a very expensive surgery to remove the pellets, but he couldn't guarantee that Mav could walk again,  he could give him a steroid shot next to the pellet and see if he got some sensory back in the legs, but that the pellet sat on the nerve that goes to the bladder so he wouldn't be able to relieve himself without my help, or finally, to put him down.  I had known from the moment I found him paralyzed that the only thing we could do was to put him down, that is what my brain was saying, and my heart was breaking.  I pretty much fell apart in front of Dr. Whitwer, and he was very compassionate.  His assistants were very kind also as I made the decision that I thought was already made.  It was so hard to see my dear kitty, who had had such a difficult life anyway, end his life in such a way.  And I hated to have to be the one to decide that and walk away.  He was still nudging my hand with his head as I told Dr. Whitwer to go ahead.  I couldn't watch and walked into the hallway where the nurse handed me my own box of tissue as I really fell apart.  It took 30 seconds for the drugs to work and he was gone.  Tearfully I paid the bill, gathered up Mavericks bed and left.  I arranged to have Dr. Whitwer take care of his body because I just couldn't bring myself to bring my cat home dead to my kids. They said their goodbyes that morning when he was alive, and took lots of pictures with him.  I have been attached to every animal I have ever owned before, and lost them also, (except the pigs and chickens), but I have never had to make a decision to put one down, I think that had been the hardest part.  I know it was best, Mav wouldn't have been happy if he was paralyzed and always in pain.  It was just really hard for me.  We will all miss him.  

Cami taking pictures with Maverick before going to school that morning.

 



He army crawled off of the blanket I had him on.  You can see his left leg is back in a awkward position. I wish I could have protected him a little better, and that my neighbor could have been more tolerant of a curious cat.  I'm so sorry Maverick!